Train Wreck

You know those times when everything’s great and it seems like nothing could ever stop you?

Yeah, I miss those times already. I just had what felt like the best Christmas season ever, finally feeling like I was getting a handle on things, this thing they call life, kinda getting an idea of what it meant to be an adult- and as soon as Monday rolled around, this massive TRAIN has just crashed my life, thrown me down, smashed my face, arms, legs, neck, pinkie toes- everything- into a bloody, nasty pulp. Vacation’s over, it seems to say. Welcome back to me- now let’s have some fun.

It is all entirely of my own doing, though I can’t seem to understand how. I can go back and look at life and I can see all the steps, and how they interact and fall into place, but I don’t know how I could have stopped them. I hang now on the precipice of a very deep, dark hole. I can’t even imagine the bottom, but I can see what I think is pretty deep down- and I don’t like it.

I know what I would do to fix it. I really think it’s the best option. I really want to slam on the brakes, stop my current trajectory, go back and pick the mess up, and then go forward again.

But I don’t know what God would have me do. As it is, I am running. As hard as I can, to Him.

I need You. I need You. I am so very lost, so very confused, so hurt and lonely and simply lost. Where did it go? Where is my peace, my joy? Why is it, all of a sudden, my situation is now a terrible, terrible thing?! I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE, FINALLY! I FINALLY HAD A PATH. But now? NOTHING.

I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW TO COME AND BE WITH ME, FATHER.

Digital Jackpot

40 inspirational speeches in 2 minutes. Can you name all of the movies used?!

Older Digital Jackpots

Merry X-mas! (again, X = Greek chi, which is Christ)

Yeah, I’m learning Greek. That’s wassup.

I hope everyone has a blessed holiday season as we approach the new year. I can’t believe that yet another year is over… this time last year seems like yesterday.

I’ll be spending time with the family, of course, but I want to see all of my friends! Let’s try and hang out!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! MAY THE LORD BE REVEALED THIS SEASON! LET HIS LOVE SHINE!

friedriches’ Ten Favorite Songs (at the present) pt. IX

Take On Me – a-ha

Seriously, this song is sick. A great synth melody and very singable lyrics make this a great track to begin with- but it’s also the my favorite music video of all time. I don’t know exactly how excruciating it was to pull this off in 1985, but the quality of the work is definitely something that would cause headaches today, let alone 23 years ago. The story may be cheese, but I just can’t get enough of this song or this video.

Favorite lines:

So needless to say
I’m odds and ends
But that’s me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It’s no better to be safe than sorry

Mantra

I was raised in the Catholic Church, and for years my knowledge and experience with the idea(s) of God, Jesus, faith and religion all were limited to my times in Sunday mass. To be sure, my dad did his best to make sure that I was raised a good Catholic, but mass was the culmination of this, to me. All of the classes, studies, etc. were focused on this Sunday ritual, and nothing else. There was no direct application to life outside of it. Mass wasn’t for life. Life was for mass.

Prayer in a Catholic service is handled, for the most part, by the chanting and repeating of prayers en masse. One of the ones that I remember pretty well is the repeating of:

“This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

Which is a direct quotation of Psalm 118:24.

What a great verse! Think about it: today is in the hands of the Lord! Nothing we can say or do could change the fact that he is in control! Of course, in my young and limited mind, I couldn’t see that these prayers were for more than just obligation. I am called to be GLAD in the day, to REJOICE His CREATION!

Lately, things have been hard. Stress has been at an all-time high, and life, as I’ve said before, is kind of crazy right now. My definitions of a lot of things are changing, and my understanding of how some things in life work are changing as well. I’m getting a little bit of a better picture of what my life will be like until I go to reside with my Father, but still- sometimes I get overwhelmed.

However, this verse has been coming to me for a few weeks, as a reminder and a promise, to not dwell in the stressors of my life but instead to rejoice that He has given me the life He has!

Hallelujah! He is faithful!

WHAT?!

SERIOUSLY?

What if?

SERIOUSLY?

UGH. Humanity. Love you guys, but seriously. This isn’t a novel concept.

friedriches’ Ten Favorite Songs (at the present) pt. VIII

Baba Yetu (Our Father) – Sid Meyer’s Civilization IV

Setting the scene: Freshman year at LSU I was a bump on a log, always staying in and playing video games. A game that came out at the time, called Civilization IV, part of the almost-legendary Civilization series created by the just as legendary creator Sid Meyer. The turn-based strategy gameplay was addicting, and I really LOVED the game. But even cooler was the theme song. It was in some apparently African tounge, accompanied by a full orchestra. Something about the song gave me chills- to the point of tears, in all honesty- but I didn’t know why at the time.

Just recently, I discovered that the song is actually the Lord’s Prayer in Swahili. WHOA! So I grab Leah, who speaks Swahili, and she confirms this. The reason I had chills? THE GHOST, BABY!

How awesome is that song?!

Favorite Lines:

Ufalme wako ufike utakalo
Lifanyike duniani kama mbinguni. (Amina)

Or, in English:

Your kingdom come, your will be done
On Earth as it is in Heaven. (Amen)

Digital Jackpot: Ellefried Recommends, the Sequel

A Mighty Wind is definitely on my top ten favorite movies list. Christopher Guest is a genius, and Fred Willard is insane in this monologue. Seriously, he’s a nutjob.

Who is ellefried?

UPDATE: Oh, and here’s the closing song from A Mighty Wind. Love it.

Older Digital Jackpots

Digital Jackpot: Ninja Kayli Edition

Just… a classic. It’s amazing what is capable with genetics and Pavlovian conditioning!

(hehe, or computers.)

This one is most definitely for Kaylibear!

Older Digital Jackpots

friedriches’ Ten Favorite Songs (at the present) pt. VII

Wonderwall – Oasis

This song is just… cool. Raw vocals, clean acoustic guitar work, and clean drums. Best of all, there’s a cello- and it’s cool. Doesn’t happen too often.

Definitely Oasis’s biggest song, Wonderwall is a song about love, as are most pop songs. No real meaning or significance in my life, but it’s so very singable. Great driving song.

Favorite Lines:

Today was gonna be the day
But they’ll never throw it back to you
By now you should’ve somehow
Realized what you’re not to do
I don’t believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now